you always think that could not happen to me, or whatever
last NIGHT CHASITY TOLD ME THAT MITCH HAS AIDS, AND ON MY BIRTHDAY WHEN WE WENT TO THE TITTY BAR AND HAD A THREESOME WITH KARI WE ALSO SHOT DOPE, WE SHARED THE NEEDLE I BLEACHED IT BUT WHEN CHAS TOLD ME THAT MITCH HAS AIDS EVERYTHING JUST STOPPED.
i never expected to live this long to tell you the truth, between, drunken crazy driving, drug overdoses, wars on the streeet. wars in my mind.
and just when it looks like im going to actually see what i am made of and what i can be and do
i find out that it may be to late for any of that to matter
today has seemed un real to me i went to the hospital. to have them test me for aids, i called before i went up and they told me on the phone that they could do it and then when we get\up there they tell me that they can not do it, that i need to see a doctor, i could not believe that she couldn't test me,she didnt even act like she cared
i have been through many things,. and at times i have felt like i could not go any further, but then i do
PLEASE GOD TAKE THIS CUP FROM ME
LORD LET THIS NOT BE MY PORTION
FATHER I HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN YOU THE GLORY FOR MY LIFE THE PRAISE AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF ACCOMPLISHED GOALS I ALWAYS GI\VE TO YOU FATHER BECAUSE WITH OUT YOU I AM NOTHING MORE THAN WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN.
ACTUALLY THAT IS UNTRUE BUT I Am not nearly strong enough to find out that it hAS ALL BEEN FOR NOTHING
i have always just put one foot in front of the other taking soldier steps, no matter what just keep moving forward,
but there is no forward from this
father your word not mine says that by his stripes we ARE HEALED I INO WAY WANTED TO FATHER I BELIEVE YOUR WORD PLEASE HEAL ME MEND ME FATHER
God has a plan for everyone. You never know what life has in store for you, but I know one thing whatever he has planned there is a reason...You're a strong enough person with the love of your family no matter what the test says we can fight this....and we will win....after everything we've been through don't you dare think about loosing faith... not now not ever.... How do you know your destiny isn't to share with the young, the importance of safe sex and dirty needles. I pray with everything I have that this is not your destiny I pray that it is a scare tactic not only for your sake, because I love you more than any other breathing human being besides my children, but for the sake of so many others...I love you hang in there and don't give up....
ReplyDeleteGod damn it joe you need to stop, every time things go good for you,you turn it upside down, you need to stop doing stupid shit and let yourself be happy for once, I do love you joe but i cant keep going up and down with you like this people can only be soo strong for you and you have to carry yourself the rest of the way. Find new friends stay home if you have to but you cant keep living your life this way. You can be clean and sober and perfectly fine if you let yourself , no one can do it for you. You want me to be there for you but you know how its going to be I am going to be hard on you but only because i have to, and im not going to sugar coat anything for you theres no reason to you are a grown ass man and no one can change you but you. There are plenty of people in your life that love you but even as much love as people do have for you , you hold the final card play it wisely.
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