wow how things change

well I have not been on here in forever. I have been preaching on Wednesday nights and God has really been blessing mine and Amy's life. We would love to have you come to services at 1711 nw rockwell
bethany ok
wed 7-8 pm
and on Sunday mornings pastor Lee teaches from 11-1
I will try to write more often now

never anytime any more

i never have much time to write anymore im always so busy with work and school and trying to pay bills let me emphasize trying to pay bills i always seem to be behind but God will bless and keep me secure

trying so hard

well Amy and I are trying to go in on some land with my sister and dustin but we still have an eight thousand dollar gap to close but it is really great land 14 acres lots of trees and 3 electric hook ups and 3 water hook ups so please be praying for us as for my education still on the honor roll

sitting in photo class

so i started working at carl's jr yay im a bonafide biscuit maker, but its at least a job so now maybe amy and i can get caught up again and hopefully get moved to our land. i am waiting for the instructor to say anything that pertains to me. okay time to get busy.

gotta love it

when life constantly throws curve balls at you, working your life away with nothing to show for it. wah wah wah i know get over it thats life one day it will all make sense.

Please help me God

Im doing all that I can and I am sinking what does God really want from me why do some people have it so easy and i cant get a break oh well blah blah blah i say

sitting in class

so im in class supposed to be doing a test review but to me it all sounds like blah blah blah for real so i will just do this shit when i get home. i got to work yesterday and i have work for tomorrow but still nothing steady but I do know that GOD always provides and he never gives me more than I can bare anyways i better pretend to pay attention

why me always me

So I got laid off wednesday just when i thought i was going to be caught up and be able to move a trailor on our land in september. Now I am job hunting again which is no easy feat not having a license, being a felon, and being in college. when i find someone who will overlook my felonies they cant match my schedule and if they can match my schedule they cant hire felons. it is beyond frustrating. On a positive not Amy and I are great and honestly we have been doing much better since justin moved. sorry bout his luck but it is nice having our quiet home back. Just Amy, Cameron, and I. well im in class so i better listen lol

Been a while

so it has been a while life has been really hectic, I had taken in a 16 year old kid who needed help and this last weekend he went back to his moms who is still on dope. I feel like I have wasted a whole lot of time, energy and money. He hasn't even returned any of my calls. as for amy and I we are still good well im in class so i better get back to listening

hell yeah

so my buddy chris called me the other day he is in the band project 57 and just got off tour with korn and i believe he leaves with Lynard skynard this week anyways he is gonna see what it will cost to come play mine and Amy's wedding that will be cool an almost famous band at our reception.
so i took on a third job this week trying to get this lil apt complex in order if things work out i will be an on site manager with a salary but we will see only god knows what our future has in store all i knowis that i am completly satisfied it is so nice to have a help mate even though amy works full time as a cna she still goes with me after work to work trimming trees or roofing or these apt she is all about us
all i can say is thank GOD i have waited long enough and been with enough spoiled bitches and whores its nice to finally have a sexy lil country girl

Marriage

so Amy and I are going to get married probably easter of next year, whatever day she want the day doesnt really matter to me i just want to be married to her. I have been so happy the last 3 months happier than i have ever been i dont think i ever truly experienced love until now and now that i have it i never want to lose it

last night

so amy got super drunk last night and hit me in the face with her flip flop, then on the way home told me just to drop her and her kids off and me and justin could get the fuck out. she didnt remember any of it this morning of course i didnt leave i love her and knew she was just drunk or at least i hope thats all it was. when i told her what she had said she almost started crying. she has apologized like 20 times today im not tripping on it though sometimes these things happen well im in class i better get to taking notes college is a lot harder when your in love and u have kids to keep happy and fed and sheltered but such is life and even though college is a lil harder my life has been a lot more fulfilled

have i found my fairy tale

I hear people say they dont beleve in fairy tales, or that im a fool for still believing but i think i may have found mine. I have never been so happy in my life and on top of that i am clean and sober and it isnt even a thing no desires no hating sobriety i love sobriety and here lately i love life. I started dating one of my sisters friends amy and after i stayed the first week end i have never left. i gathered up my clothes to come home and amy was like what are you doing. she says im stuck she is never gonna let me get away. I hope she means it cause i could never have imagined such happiness could even exist, but it does and i never want to live life the way i used to when with her life is full of so much more.
on a not so positive note due to all of the drama last semester i wound up with a c on my transcript. i was so depressed about it for a while cause not only did i get a c but i also got a B i expected 4 A's but instead i only got 2 A's and those lesser grades i already mentioned but im okay with it now it is what it is and thats all it is

so so tired

I am so so tired, beyond tired im so exhausted and i havent got to see desi in several days brcause of not having the gas it can be very frustrating. im getting ready for work now i know i have the gas o get there but im not sure if i have enough to get home well im moving slow this morning so i better get around

Life is one trial after another and sometimes i wonder why me Lord. Why is this the part you gave me. Other times I feel so blessed that he loves me that much and has that much for me, then my doubts set in. they laugh and they say that what im trying to do is a joke how could someone like u do something like that. Truth is I know I cannot but I know that you can then I ask myself again why me. I cant do this everyone is against me my only peace is knowing that if u are for me then who can stand against me but they do stand, not for long why am i so weak in faith when you have shown me so much given me so much and protected me so often father i pray that your will be done through me that my stubborn flesh submit to the spirit of your will in the name of your precious precious glory i do pray that i can if not walk at least crawl in the likeness of his purity pauseing only to wash the feet of your salvation, the feet that i dirty with my sin and the blood that was given for it as well, forgive my weaknesses and grant me strength that i may continue the work you started in me, the fullfillment of your will for me that i may not be decieved by the accuser and believe his lies but rather ignore his meaningless shouts, and listen to your gentle whispers of wisdom and truth

ready for church

well im up and getting ready for church jason and rosie is going to pick me up because my car wont start because i havent made my payment im hoping that the catholic church will help me monday because im sinking drowning and do not know what to do. but i know this much im just gonna keep up my faith and know that God will not let me fail

ahh

so desiree left me a beautiful poem on my joirnal. actually everyday she leaves me a little poem on my phone it is really sweet and she has a talent for spiritual poetry that i love. Dakota called me dadadadada the day before yesterday that lil boy really loves my truth is i dig him as well, i have been doing homework all day, fun fun but i had been getting behind then it happened i got behind lol but im catching up on homework and rest

my silent prayer f the morning

Father let me understand the truths of your words, make my ways straight and narrow, but give me love from the great depths of your mercy. why you have chosen me ill never understand unless u show me. so my only parayer is let thy will be done through me

i like her style

so i like her style, she is patient and caring, i really enjoy her poetry and dakota is awesome. Im just taking my time to get to know her and let her get to know me a lil piece of my crazy puzzle at a time lol well onto homework

oh praise report rosie and jason are doing better i really hope they take my advice and get spiritual marital counseling i my sister and dustin take that same advice but my prayers are being answered my sister is drawing nearer to Jesus and His truths

so i have not wrote in a while

I am still leaning on faith and wondering how my past due bills fines and loans are going to get paid. I have been talking to a girl named desiree and she has a son named dakota who is 7 months old and he loves him some joe im just taking my time and getting to know her right now she is a really caring compassionate person. a woman who loves god and the things of god.

On a not so happy note I am worried about jason and rosie they have been having problems and i really think they need to get with a pastor and do marital counseling but that is merely my opinion but my prayers are with them