Sunday, December 21, 2008
staying sober
staying sober this time of year is always so hard for me,not like the rest of the year is easy. but this time of year is when i remember the most. when i hurt the most when i escape the most it used to be from early november thru january but with jays death on september 11 now it starts a lil bit early. i owe my mom and sisters at least a better attempt then what i have been giving it. well i have to go peace
Thursday, December 11, 2008
a break
tonight was my last final of the semester finally a little break now if i could just get one financially and emotionally and spiritually i would be all set well im at least thankful for what ive got and that is a lil break
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
well i was inducted into phi theta kappa an honor society at school, but i have been fucking up a whole lot here lately, and really i am scared to death of not making, but i have to, i cant have come this far to not finish it. I have done so well this last year in school and the truth is I did that by only half assing it. I didnt have to put out no where near my best efforts at any time in my college experience thus far. but my boss sent me a text this evening saying that he didnt think that he needed me tomorrow and that we would talk about thursday tomorrow sometime. I can not afford to be unemployed, i just overvcame, let me re phrase that God just pulled me through one financial situation that had i not of figured something out it was the one that was gonna break me, now this. I try not to let all of the pressure build up. I try not to dwell in the past, i try not to get high on meth, but honestly all im ever doing is trying and i try try try, to normally say why why why. i guess im really to chicken shit to pull all of myself into something because if i do that and fail, well i know something that at one time was all i knew, and if i fail after giving it everything ive got im afraid of where i might go or how i might act, simply because im a jack ass, i like fast cars i like fast women and at one time i loved fast money and drugs. i gave that life all i had. and it was all i knew, and now with the life that i am trying to live sometimes i feel lost, like i dont know how to act or maybe that i know how im supposed to act but im not ready to any ways wah wah wah blah blah blah the balls in my court my hands and its up to me no one to blame if i fail no but or because its do or die sink or swim and ill either make it or i wont but relapses short comings failures and all im gonna fail trying if i fail and if i do make it it well damn sure be because i fought tooth and nail for it cause i have and its not much. just a little reputation, but i know that i have always known where i stood and always knew where i was standing when the smoke cleared , and that is by the people i loved and i am so thankful for all of the many times i have failed and they have still stood beside me.
Monday, November 10, 2008
scholarship
well it looks like i am going to get a full ride scholarship to pretty much any college of my choice thatnks to me grades even though i know its true it doesnt quite seem real
still now all i have to do is decide where i want to go to college at
still now all i have to do is decide where i want to go to college at
Friday, November 7, 2008
my sisters essay
Anona Powers
McBride: ENG1213, 8:00am
5 Nov. 2008
Essay 3
Chains
What does it mean to be locked in a cave? I believe there are many people locked inside caves of their own minds; Locked in the darkness about the truths and realities of the real world. In Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” Plato tells a story of human beings who have been locked in an underground cave since their childhood, and have their legs and necks chained so there is no movement, so that they can only see what is presented in front of them (547). For some people that cave is love. When we love somebody, that love is unconditional, like the chains that were there so that the prisoners could not move, and it is hard to see through to the truth about people that we love. Rather you love that person because they are your spouse, because they are your sibling, or because they are your father, it doesn’t matter it is still hard to see through to the truth of who they really are.
When people are married they see only what they want and believe that this is the one person who they can trust that would never hurt them. There are so many couples that believe their spouse would not cheat on them when in fact, they are doing that very thing. When we love somebody we love all the good and it is so hard to see or believe any bad because those chains hold us back from seeing the truth.” how could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads” (Plato 547). My ex-husband was blinded by the love he had for me, and believed his wife could do no wrong. Everyone told him that I was cheating on him and, being unfaithful, but he was locked in this cave of darkness, bounded by these chains of love where he was kept him from moving, where he could not see the truth. Plato describes the cave as being dark. The only light was a fire burning in the distance, so all the prisoners could see was the shadows in front of them (Plato 547). That darkness made him see only what was in front of him. One day, I enlightened him. I told him the truth of my unfaithfulness and brought him into reality. Now with his new wife, that cave of darkness and those chains of love does not blind him to the truths and reality. Not only did he get enlightened, but so did everyone that witnessed this whole darkness this whole cave of being blinded by love.
Growing up with just one sibling to play with, to talk too, and to love makes two people very close, especially if they are close in age. I grew up with an older brother and we have been inseparable since I can remember. For the longest time, I was trapped in a cave about his drug addiction and what he was becoming. Growin up I thought that he could hang the moon if I needed. My chains of love, that I had for him blinded me. I could not see what was happening to him. The cave I lived in was so dark to the realities of what was actually happening around me. I could not see that he was getting so skinny, so sick; looking like death was upon him. All I could see was my brother the one I love so much that could do nothing wrong or harm anyone including my brother himself. I could not see that he was robbing people to eat and that his whole life was crumbling around him. When I seen the light and realized what was going on, it was like the prisoners seeing the sun for the first time. “And if he is compelled to look straight at the light, will he not have a pain in his eyes which will make him turn away to take refuge” (Plato 548). The pain I felt in my heart, like the pain the prisoner felt in his eyes, at the sight of reality and truth of which I had not known, made me want to go back into my cave and back into my darkness. I was not the only one in a cave. brother is in a cave too, thinking that the only way to kill his pain is to do drugs. He has came half way out of his cave and I’m hopeing that our families chains of love will bring him into the light
While children are growing up, they usually but not always, think their parents can do no wrong and will be there through thick and then no matter what. As children, we do not know much about people, values, morals and such things. It is a parent’s job to teach their children these things. Growing up I thought my fathers’ children meant the world to him. I’ve been in cave since I was a child thinking that we were his world and that we were what matters first and foremost. As an adult, I’m learning that everything I know and love about my father is a darkness, a lie. My love for him has kept me from seeing who he really is. Finding out that my father is in this world for him and not his children, has been very heartbreaking and very painful. I broke those chains of love and came into reality and into the light that his world does not involve my brother, my sister, and I.
Love is like the prisoners chains it keeps us from seeing anything other than what is right in front of us. Love can make us a prisoner of our own cave of darkness, which can make people do things, feel things, and believe things that are untrue or morally wrong. If we find that we have been in a cave, that other people are in, we need to enlighten them and help bring them out of this darkness. Plato says, “The virtue of wisdom more than anything else contains a divine element which always remains” (550). When we enlighten people of such a darkness, whatever their cave my consist of, that wisdom will always be there in case they start to turn around and go back into their cave the wisdom they have learned will keep them out of the dark.
Works Cited
Plato. “Allegory of the Cave.” Isaacs et al 577-52. Isaacs, Jessica, eds., et al. The Power of Language; The Language of Power. 2nd ed. Boston: Pearson Custom, 2006.
McBride: ENG1213, 8:00am
5 Nov. 2008
Essay 3
Chains
What does it mean to be locked in a cave? I believe there are many people locked inside caves of their own minds; Locked in the darkness about the truths and realities of the real world. In Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” Plato tells a story of human beings who have been locked in an underground cave since their childhood, and have their legs and necks chained so there is no movement, so that they can only see what is presented in front of them (547). For some people that cave is love. When we love somebody, that love is unconditional, like the chains that were there so that the prisoners could not move, and it is hard to see through to the truth about people that we love. Rather you love that person because they are your spouse, because they are your sibling, or because they are your father, it doesn’t matter it is still hard to see through to the truth of who they really are.
When people are married they see only what they want and believe that this is the one person who they can trust that would never hurt them. There are so many couples that believe their spouse would not cheat on them when in fact, they are doing that very thing. When we love somebody we love all the good and it is so hard to see or believe any bad because those chains hold us back from seeing the truth.” how could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads” (Plato 547). My ex-husband was blinded by the love he had for me, and believed his wife could do no wrong. Everyone told him that I was cheating on him and, being unfaithful, but he was locked in this cave of darkness, bounded by these chains of love where he was kept him from moving, where he could not see the truth. Plato describes the cave as being dark. The only light was a fire burning in the distance, so all the prisoners could see was the shadows in front of them (Plato 547). That darkness made him see only what was in front of him. One day, I enlightened him. I told him the truth of my unfaithfulness and brought him into reality. Now with his new wife, that cave of darkness and those chains of love does not blind him to the truths and reality. Not only did he get enlightened, but so did everyone that witnessed this whole darkness this whole cave of being blinded by love.
Growing up with just one sibling to play with, to talk too, and to love makes two people very close, especially if they are close in age. I grew up with an older brother and we have been inseparable since I can remember. For the longest time, I was trapped in a cave about his drug addiction and what he was becoming. Growin up I thought that he could hang the moon if I needed. My chains of love, that I had for him blinded me. I could not see what was happening to him. The cave I lived in was so dark to the realities of what was actually happening around me. I could not see that he was getting so skinny, so sick; looking like death was upon him. All I could see was my brother the one I love so much that could do nothing wrong or harm anyone including my brother himself. I could not see that he was robbing people to eat and that his whole life was crumbling around him. When I seen the light and realized what was going on, it was like the prisoners seeing the sun for the first time. “And if he is compelled to look straight at the light, will he not have a pain in his eyes which will make him turn away to take refuge” (Plato 548). The pain I felt in my heart, like the pain the prisoner felt in his eyes, at the sight of reality and truth of which I had not known, made me want to go back into my cave and back into my darkness. I was not the only one in a cave. brother is in a cave too, thinking that the only way to kill his pain is to do drugs. He has came half way out of his cave and I’m hopeing that our families chains of love will bring him into the light
While children are growing up, they usually but not always, think their parents can do no wrong and will be there through thick and then no matter what. As children, we do not know much about people, values, morals and such things. It is a parent’s job to teach their children these things. Growing up I thought my fathers’ children meant the world to him. I’ve been in cave since I was a child thinking that we were his world and that we were what matters first and foremost. As an adult, I’m learning that everything I know and love about my father is a darkness, a lie. My love for him has kept me from seeing who he really is. Finding out that my father is in this world for him and not his children, has been very heartbreaking and very painful. I broke those chains of love and came into reality and into the light that his world does not involve my brother, my sister, and I.
Love is like the prisoners chains it keeps us from seeing anything other than what is right in front of us. Love can make us a prisoner of our own cave of darkness, which can make people do things, feel things, and believe things that are untrue or morally wrong. If we find that we have been in a cave, that other people are in, we need to enlighten them and help bring them out of this darkness. Plato says, “The virtue of wisdom more than anything else contains a divine element which always remains” (550). When we enlighten people of such a darkness, whatever their cave my consist of, that wisdom will always be there in case they start to turn around and go back into their cave the wisdom they have learned will keep them out of the dark.
Works Cited
Plato. “Allegory of the Cave.” Isaacs et al 577-52. Isaacs, Jessica, eds., et al. The Power of Language; The Language of Power. 2nd ed. Boston: Pearson Custom, 2006.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
last night
so last night shannon called to tell me her class had been canceled and wanted to know if i could come over and study, i said yes i was suprised cause while we were studying she slipped me a note asking if we could have sex again with no commitment i said sure so we ended up studying each other again then the chapter i think ii did well on the test tonight even though i didnt study the book nearly as much as i studied her, anyways its good times to say the least with no worries about getting hurt. it is what it is whatever that is anyways i have a chapter to read so goodnight cruel world
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
so tired
damn it man i am tired , i over slept yesterday until 10:00 o'clock my boss was kind of pissed im just worn out man work and school and now that i have been helping shannon study im really tired cause it takes me longer to get through a chapter because im having to show her where im finding the stuff and explaining why i think that will be the information on the test, im really not sure what this girl is looking for and to be honest her tubes are tied and i dont have any kids of my own and i want one really bad so i dont really see us going anywhere other than being friends anyways off to work i go
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
