last night

so amy got super drunk last night and hit me in the face with her flip flop, then on the way home told me just to drop her and her kids off and me and justin could get the fuck out. she didnt remember any of it this morning of course i didnt leave i love her and knew she was just drunk or at least i hope thats all it was. when i told her what she had said she almost started crying. she has apologized like 20 times today im not tripping on it though sometimes these things happen well im in class i better get to taking notes college is a lot harder when your in love and u have kids to keep happy and fed and sheltered but such is life and even though college is a lil harder my life has been a lot more fulfilled

have i found my fairy tale

I hear people say they dont beleve in fairy tales, or that im a fool for still believing but i think i may have found mine. I have never been so happy in my life and on top of that i am clean and sober and it isnt even a thing no desires no hating sobriety i love sobriety and here lately i love life. I started dating one of my sisters friends amy and after i stayed the first week end i have never left. i gathered up my clothes to come home and amy was like what are you doing. she says im stuck she is never gonna let me get away. I hope she means it cause i could never have imagined such happiness could even exist, but it does and i never want to live life the way i used to when with her life is full of so much more.
on a not so positive note due to all of the drama last semester i wound up with a c on my transcript. i was so depressed about it for a while cause not only did i get a c but i also got a B i expected 4 A's but instead i only got 2 A's and those lesser grades i already mentioned but im okay with it now it is what it is and thats all it is

so so tired

I am so so tired, beyond tired im so exhausted and i havent got to see desi in several days brcause of not having the gas it can be very frustrating. im getting ready for work now i know i have the gas o get there but im not sure if i have enough to get home well im moving slow this morning so i better get around

Life is one trial after another and sometimes i wonder why me Lord. Why is this the part you gave me. Other times I feel so blessed that he loves me that much and has that much for me, then my doubts set in. they laugh and they say that what im trying to do is a joke how could someone like u do something like that. Truth is I know I cannot but I know that you can then I ask myself again why me. I cant do this everyone is against me my only peace is knowing that if u are for me then who can stand against me but they do stand, not for long why am i so weak in faith when you have shown me so much given me so much and protected me so often father i pray that your will be done through me that my stubborn flesh submit to the spirit of your will in the name of your precious precious glory i do pray that i can if not walk at least crawl in the likeness of his purity pauseing only to wash the feet of your salvation, the feet that i dirty with my sin and the blood that was given for it as well, forgive my weaknesses and grant me strength that i may continue the work you started in me, the fullfillment of your will for me that i may not be decieved by the accuser and believe his lies but rather ignore his meaningless shouts, and listen to your gentle whispers of wisdom and truth

ready for church

well im up and getting ready for church jason and rosie is going to pick me up because my car wont start because i havent made my payment im hoping that the catholic church will help me monday because im sinking drowning and do not know what to do. but i know this much im just gonna keep up my faith and know that God will not let me fail

ahh

so desiree left me a beautiful poem on my joirnal. actually everyday she leaves me a little poem on my phone it is really sweet and she has a talent for spiritual poetry that i love. Dakota called me dadadadada the day before yesterday that lil boy really loves my truth is i dig him as well, i have been doing homework all day, fun fun but i had been getting behind then it happened i got behind lol but im catching up on homework and rest

my silent prayer f the morning

Father let me understand the truths of your words, make my ways straight and narrow, but give me love from the great depths of your mercy. why you have chosen me ill never understand unless u show me. so my only parayer is let thy will be done through me