in the last 2 weeks i have become a grandfather,ex-boyfriend ,hitchhiker, husteler, criminal, and a fugitive. one of my good friends tried to kill me,and then i walked like 6 miles in the rain. i called amanda but she did not care in the least.a homeless guy living in his car finally picked me up and gave me a ride to the laundry mat in the aptartments michelle and i stayed in when i first met her.while walking to get change for my clothes i ran into this bitch that put me up in a place to stay for the night. i didnt get any sleep cause of the life she was living but at least i wasnt in the rain right, the next morning i walked to saudia's but i guess she was sleeping still, so i walked the two miles back to where i was to smoke a joint and then walked back to saudias i waited outside for her to get home except when i was using her mothers phone downstairs. when she got there i used her phone to call amanda but she was still being cold nothing new i guess i shouldve expected it from her out of anger i told her i was gonna fuck saudia i didnt but now she doesnt believe me.
then all week end long i have been doing a roof i forgot how hard that shit is and when i talked to amanda she told me that all i wanted was the easy life after i had been on a roof for twelve hours, yeah real easy life bet she couldnt do it.
there has been no part of my life that was easy but i dont complain i just keep going no matter what comes my way amanda told me i needed to grow up i have been pretty well on my own since i was sixteen my mom and sister has helped me quite a bit most of wich i did not ask for i was locked up as a kid sent to prison as an adult lived in several states and cities raised three kids and im a grampa im sure ive got some growing up to do but not nearly as much as her still yet i thought we could grow up together and grow old together.
i saw michelle today and thought it would be hard but it really wasnt that spark tried to spark but was flushed out with bad memories of how badly she broke my heart
then all i could think of was amanda,johnothan and jerimiah but it does not appear as though she thinks of me. i wonder if the boys do and how they are doing if they know how much i love and miss them i want to call and talk to them but i dont want to make things worse for them
when i told my sister that i really didnt feel any thing when i saw michelle she said at least that girl had love for u she may have been a whore but she did really have love for you and i dont think amanda ever did
It's been a long last 2 weeks I give you that it has for me too but what do you say HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH That's what you need to do. As for what should you do? This is my opinion not what you have to do or your orders just a sisters advice and fuck any bitch that can't handle you having someone that gives a danm at least Michelle understood that! OK FIRST and FORMOST TAKE CARE OF JOE no one but Joe not a woman and her kids that you had no part in making nor leaving. Second get a job a place FOR JOE and go back to school. You are so smart use that on good stuff not bad. You should be most important not Amanda, her boys, Michelle, her boys, Serena, her kids but about Joe and maybe one day Joe's kids. One's that can't be taken because you might have been a dick or too young too undersrtand. You have lived for everybody else and their kids since you got out of jail live for Joe and his goals and hopes and dreams think about it what better place to find a girl but school where she obviously wants more than a daddy to step in. ok so I'm done take it or leave it but good luck in it all. Oh my other opinion is you should learn from it all you mistakes in your relationship with Amanda and Michelle and theirs too. I love you and keep your head up.
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