my boys

so i got to talk to the boys the night before last but i can not seem to get this comp here at the comp lab to work or the one at my moms house cause i have been trying to put the newest pics i have recieved of miah and jonothan from amanda anyways i was so happy and at the same time so sad when i finally got to talk to them miah asked if i was ever going to come home and it broke my heart and now amanda is back to blowing me off but whatever

we are having an ice storm here in oklahoma so i didnt get to work yesterday or today and it is truck payment week but i will figure it out i always do

i think that i am getting ready to go to jays crash site for a moment and think, reflect, and give thanks to God for spareing me even though that seems almost selfish

i loved jay, i love jay like a brother, as sad as this is jays death hit me harder than my nanny's or my grampa's maybe it was cause i felt like it was there time but have such a hard time beleiving that it was jays most of his life was spent in prison he was just given the chance to live again and in some ways i am to blame for destroying that chance the bible says u cant serve 2 masters but for so long i have God be with me