what is it you want/ are you willing to fight for it ?

have you ever woke up and wondered why?why am i going to work today,why am i not getting high,why does it even matter?

i have, i have spent almost 11 years wondering why

sometimes barely holding on to sanity, while sobriety slipped through my hands

other times just wishing that i could kill my self without being damned to hell

many nights  spent in deep thoughts , wondering why, why me?

what did i do to deserve this life, this pain, this heart ache?

and slowly i have come to realize that it wasn't anything that i had done

but what i am going to do.see all of that pain was not punishment but rather preparation.

preparing me to be the man i have become or am becoming. 

and i know exactly what i want and i am more than willing to fight for them. rather that fight be physical, emotional, or even circumstantial

it matters not what or who or when or why. only that they have my heart and for that i am willing to die

so what is it u live, fight and die for