putting my faith to the test

never in my life have I allowed my faith to run this long and far put im getting ready to lose everything and I do not know what to do. I know that I can not ride both sides of the fence but faith has not paid my bills. But even as I say that I know I am not the man I used to be and I am not so sure I can do the things That i used to do and even if i could i dont want to i like the new me and i dont want to go back to the old me like I have time after time