like a lop i sit and wait

thats isnt gonna call, yet knowing that, i still sit and wait and fight with all the power i have inside of myself not to break down and call her. when i pray its not for things i pray for the virtues of christ, patience, love, kindness, basically my prayer are for unbelievers and restoration of myself, except the occasional prayer that God blss me with the one thing i want so badly and that is a lovely, soldier of a wife, in the words of haystak baby suzy q good with an oven and a oozie too, my only desire is that i have a good wife and a couple of bad kids lol i love saying that becaause one thing i know my kids will be good, raised with love kindness respect and dicipline but most importantly with the love of God but im called to live by faith and i try so damn hard maybe it is im not ready for them yet God know and thats what matters when He is ready, or maybe when im ready he will put everything in place