so anyways

i went out with this girl named penny i met from work but i dont think we will ever work out cause she sees drinking as a relapse, i however got drunk as fuck last night. i dont normally drink unto drunkeness but last night i did i dont see me drinking a beer as a relapse. im a rcovering addict from meth not alcohol. and i dont ever see me being an alcoholic. i normally act stupid when i get drunk as do most people, only thing is i dont really like acting stupid or having to apologize and the truth is i normally end up doing both when i drink so thats no good for me.i like penny and i had fun i just see us being friends because we believe so differently on such a big issue, with her being a recovering addict herself i dont want to be the cause of any weak moment for her that is for sure she has 2 years of sobriety, where as i am working on 2 weeks again. not that i have ever really put a date on my sobriety my sponsor says i need to like a birthday for me i try not to think about the last time i used i keep my focus more on the last time i say no and i try to keep that ahead of the last time i use doesnt always work however. maybe i do need to see a doctor maybe i do need some meds i think i just need a good wife and some bad kids lol anyways im up early and not sure why but i do have lots to do today so peace