the greatest suprise ever, well my sister would have been greater

well yesterday i got the greatest surprise of my life next to meeting Amanda my little cousin went on a soul search of his own and his soul led him to me.it was our neighbor Stephen 21 birthday so we all went out to the village pub as a general rule i don't drink cause i'm kind of a red neck any ways after a couple of shots of so co and lime and several long island ice teas i was smashed and this guy was talking to my girl and Jessica the girl my cousin was hitting on anyways long story short i guess i made an ass out of my self and got us thrown out of the pub then we stopped at a wendy's to get a burger and i tried to climb over the counter to kick some dick heads ass if it hadn't been for my cousin grabbing a hold of me i would probably be in jail right now.

you see when i was 15 my step mom accused me of molesting my step sister because she walked in on me having phone sex i put her back in bed and that is all that happened this has been 11 years ago and my step sister has just now spoke out and told my other lil sister what happened but that doesn't change the fact that i was charged with rape and locked up where i was brutally beaten and raped by 8 to 10 boys or young men 12 to 17 years old then just thrown in a cell to die.every time my cell door opened it was a fight for my fucking life i stabbed three of them and not one of them fucking died i didn't tell any one until i was almost 18 in another treatment facility because i had been clinically dead twice because of overdosing on drugs and trying to kill the pain.through all of that all that i had was my mom and my sister nonie.anyways the reason that i'm putting all of this down now on line  is because i am getting ready to write a book about my self and my life and how great God is but not only that

see i battle with deep dark demons that as a general rule i defeat see some people who have been hurt their whole life end up hurting others their whole life  i decided that i was not gonna be that man

but you see sometimes when i get drunk all of my anger and pain and depression makes it's way up to the surface and i end up getting into fights or arguments that i would otherwise avoid i don't mean to i'm not an obnoxious drunk i am still a respectful country boy but you know when your sober and some one mean mugs you you can laugh it off but when i am drunk and someone is looking at me like i'm a punk i guess my in securities and anger combined with alcohol wont allow me to let it go

so for who ever is reading this if you have paid the price for my on going battle with my self i am sorry with all that i am unless you deserved it then you got what  you deserved