she is so speacial to me

so i may very well be dating the greatest creation God ever made next to JESUS and my little sister nonie yes she can be moody but aren't we all she works damn hard as a cna at a nursing home and until we got together she had been raising her two boys{our 2 boys} by herself for the last 2 years and for that matter i don't really think that he was that good of a dad when he was here so basically for the last 8 years she has been a single mother even when she was with her x it was like being a single mother. and i don't really think she knows how much respect that i really have for her. i am a very highly opinionated country boy and quite often i piss people off i guess quite often i piss her off but i can't be any one but me i know this with all my flaws i am still great husband and father material and i told her when i came down here i was coming to make her a country boys wife and i meant that with everything that i am i loved her before i ever even met her she doesn't love me yet but she will some day when she is ready maybe i shouldn't already love her but it was not very long ago that when i woke up my very first thought was God why why am i still alive and i hurt so bad and so deep that i couldn't even get out of bed with out sticking a needle in my arm.i was just starting to try and get clean again and get my life back and i wasn't talking to her very long before the urge to get high stopped and i woke up ready for life because i knew she would be waking up soon and i could hear her sweet voice and when i was in the city at a dope house i didn't want to use cause i knew i would be going home to call her i stopped breaking the law again out of fear of going to jail and never getting to know this wonderful woman half a country away i guess what i am saying is AMANDA YOU CAN TRUST ME AND IN ME i want to make you my wife someday i could not imagine waking up with you not by my side actually yes i can i experienced it today when i woke up and u were not there i thought that you and the boys had left and i felt horrible i love waking up with you and coming home to you i love waking up and getting Jeremiah up when he lays his little head on my shoulder on the way to the potty or how sweet both the boys are when we say our prayers at bed time i would not trade those precious moments for any thing in the world