Tuesday, January 27, 2009
maybe she kinda likes me
so she said that she just wanted to have fun, and that she doesn't want me to have feelings for her. but she calls quite a bit and i think she has gotten a little jealous a couple of times. There is no doubt about it i like her, I just really dont know if I can trust her, and I dont know if she will be able to trust me she doesnt want to she has her gaurds. I put mine up, but then i hear her voice and they come right down, i wouldnt mind that so much except her gaurds are still up. i like really being into a girl but its not a good thing when they tell you from the start not to. but see im really really stubborn and i dont back down from very many challenges, especially when I think that maybe just maybe it might be worth it, see i know she's worth she just doesnt know it, dont get me wrong she thinks real highly of her self in some ways but shes not so confident in others. im trying not to move to fast and just be a friend first and to let her just see me for me and let her know that good men really do exist and i believe myself to be one of those anyways im gonna call lacy and then get some sleep before work peace
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey this is lacey putting her 2 sense in!!! You say that you dont back down from challenges, well one reason I have my guards up is for comments like that. I have to ask myself is that all I really am is a "CHALLENGE"??? If indeed i do let my guard down and let you in my heart will you consider the "CHALLENGE" to be concord or will I still be the girl that won your heart!!! Also its jealous comments like 'Well I'll just do you up real good, one last time, then I'll kick rocks' that make me wonder if everything your saying is just a front or is it really coming from your heart and soul! When we first met you said, and I quote, "KEEP IT 100". That my dear is exactly what I've been doing. Now me telling you that I had NO intentions of wanting a relationship & that I just wanted to be free and have fun is as real as it gets baby! If I happen to develope feelings for you 'My Bad' doesn't mean im going to let you in and be with me and stop talking to everyone but you. What that does mean is this... I will let you see what I think is neccessary for you to see, without giving you all or part of my heart. Not saying that in the future I still wont let in but as of NOW I cant and wont. I dont feel that I can trust anyone at this point in my life. Things change and ppl change, if you are the one to change ME then thats fine, great but im NOT going to take off my life jacket in your deep water just because you say that its safe without it. My dad always taught me that if I didnt go into water that was over my head I was less likely to drown... I believe that this applies to my life. If I dont let myself get curled up in your heart and all things you might have to offer then I wont be in over my head and I will be less likely to drown if for some reason things dont work out, just like in everything else that has come about in my life. I feel that as scared to death of the water as i am, I am even more scared of getting hurt by another guy. Sometimes I look back and see what my life has been about and I think that maybe I dont really deserve the White Picket Fence of LOVE, but then I also think that everyone deserves what they want.
:)
Post a Comment