they are worth it

so my girl has been talking about quitting smoking pot for a while now and I have been very very hesitant,because to be honest I am an unstable person and marijuana stabilizes me.When I was in prison my mom mentioned me getting put on anti depressants. I did not like that idea because all though prescription medicine is legal i am not very impressed with the idea of trading one addiction for another.Any ways the other day after our big fight and my trip to the bus station  i went across the street to get some smoke they could not get any but where smoking so i stayed and smoked.when i heard Amanda calling me i came outside and when the heat hit me i felt all blah and we still had laundry to do so i started thinking maybe i would try this non smoking thing i told Amanda that we were gonna get a lil bit of smoke to get through the week end and on Monday we would quit.monday morning went just like any other alarm clock went off at 4 am and i started doing my journal and book. I had not been awake long when i heard her sisters boyfriend arguing with the neigbor.it was no big deal just some Mohawk drama.any ways i woke amanda up for work and she left.the kids and i had a pretty good day .Johnathan wanted to play at trishes so i took Cory and miah to the park while we were out cory ran off so as i was chasing him a guy my girl knows called me over so him and his ol'lady could smoke with me and then give me some.that really pissed amanda off but near as much as it disappointed her.see she is counting on me to be strong and i was not, even though her and the boys are worth it