so i went to church this morning and tiffany was there (the ex that asked me if i thought she was my bitch while i was fighting this cage fighter and asked her to gather up my things) she needed a ride to wal-mart and asked if i would take her i did but she acted like she thought we might hook up again (seriously are people that stupid)
then i think about my relationship with amanda and i know that yes we are that stupid or at least i am
before i went to cali she was always avalible to me via phone now its like lot of times she blows me off and knowing her she is either doing it on purpose or she has a light weight boyfriend. either way i guess it really doesnt matter cause im the one that still calls her. imagine that an honor student at school but sometimes im dumb as a box of rocks
on a positive note i just finished my homework and even had time to work on my r.v. it is amazing how i make being an honor student look easy but in reality it is hard as hell and keeps me worn pretty thin. the accomplishment itself doesnt wear me thin it is the acting as if its easy. but i really dont know how to express difficulty or hardship i have always been looked upon for strength by those close to me so if i show im struggling then i show weakness and i cant do that. its just not me
a friend of mine heard about some of the difficulties that i have been going through and sent me a text saying she was worried about me i told her i was alright and she reminded me that i say that even when im not alright but that it is my way of making it through im just alright. ill make it i always have i always will no matter what comes along ill make it one foot in front of the other soldier stepping. at the time she asked no i was not all right but i am now and i knew i would be so my answer was im alright and if ever im not all right then i call nonie or dustin and somehow it is all all right
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