Is more than just a catchy phrase that sold a lot of bracelets, it is a philsphy for how we should all base our desicions on. I am sad to say that my life more often than not resembles that of what would satan do. Not really but yeah, i lose my temper, i am prone to be in fights although I am learning to back down that whole turn the other cheek is a little to much for me. tonights message really hit home for me, it was on talking the talk and not walking the walk, i witness to a lot of un believers, and i can tell them ther history of the church and even about other religions and tell them stories in the bible but where at a party where i am drinking and possibly before the night is over fighting.
I know im never gonna be perfect but i know im also not holding up my end of the deal, however i dont think it is all truly a lack of effort cause God and everyone else should be able to see the changes i have made and the obstacles of those changes. see for me and maybe all people, it is not just the struggle of the addiction it is a self identification struggle("inside joke" its from being joe mother fucking powers to just being Joe)
and a person may ask whats wrong with that and the truth is nothing is wrong with that, but how does just Joe act especially in the presence of someone expecting joe motherfucking powers
or in some situations u only know how to act one way kinda causes an idendity crisis in a person okay maybe not in any person but in me it sure the hell has
i know what i want and i know what God wants out of me or at least i think i do and all though i am working torwards that i still have a hard time seeing myself acheive it i mean theres gotta be a reason people that know me or used to know me laugh when i tell them im gonna be a drug counselor, right and hell when i have relapsed i laugh to but its not a funny ha ha laugh its a see they must be rightbut i dust myself off and keep going but then that lil voice says why what for, for this, this is what your working so hard for
anyways blah blah blah wah wah wah im going to bed if anyone does read this a prayer or 2 wouldnt hurt, in fact i believe in the power of prayer and faith and i have plenty of faith in God but not so much in myself anyhow goodnight
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment