so on the way home from work Dave Amanda's step dad told me that he really hoped that Amanda and I make it.That meant a great deal to me not just because he has taken on the role of her father but because i really respect him as a man and a person.
I told him that I really hoped that we could make it as well, but that I have kind of felt like I was walking on egg shells since she came and got me from the bus station, don't get me wrong things have been great since then and I honestly think that even if she won't admit it Amanda also realized had much she had to lose.She is to strong and in dependant to ever admit that but I honestly do think that she felt it.
On another note all together I have decided to send my father a link to my journal. I am a little anxious and worried, because no matter what I have been through the last thing that I want to do is hurt my dad he has been depressed for years and I think that he gave up a long time ago, and I don't want to be that one thing that is to much for him to take or bear I want him to know that even after all I have been through I still love him and I forgave him a long long time ago.
I just know that it will take a real heavy load off of my shoulder and mind and maybe it will even allow him to forgive himself
2 comments:
I really think you did the right thing here I also love dad and would never want to hurt him but he needs to know how you feel and how you have felt in your life so you both may have some closure. I think this was the best way to at least salvage what relationship you have left cause like said having him half wau has to be better than partially I love dad and he is strong he needs to know what you feel and the truth your part to the story so that now CC is older and can answer questions that could relieve alot of the bitterness in this family before it is to late if some one like her parents would just ask. She is such an outspoken person she would say she would tell whta she remembers. any way I hope dad understands all that you have wrote and that you have forgiven him you just hurt so bad inside because of it all. Good luck and I love you hope it will all work out.
I dont understand why you still have these pictures up there
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