if it sounds to good to be true it probably is

well Amanda kicked me out a week ago Saturday and Pete came and picked me up in a semi. i spent several days working in Arizona all heartbroken and even though my oldest son and my brother was there i still felt all alone. when we got to phoenix i met a guy and 2 girls at the truck stop they took me to the bar and bought me several long island iced teas and 3 packs of smokes any ways a couple hours into the night one of the girls invited me into the woman's restroom for a blow job, maybe i should have said no but i did not i went in the restroom with her and she started giving me head she wanted me to fuck her but i said no so she finished sucking me off even swallowed then she bought me another drink and left. i had been calling Amanda for 2 days and she would not answer the phone but for some reason i called her she answered the phone she yelled at me then hung up as soon as i heard her voice i wanted to cry for what i had done in the bathroom only 20 minutes before but i was single and that was by her choice. i called the next morning and she would not answer i called her daily only to have my heartbroken time and time again.then Saturday she said that she did love and miss me and all of my pain went away but i was left with the shame  of feeling like i cheated on her. we wee even talking about getting back together but i told her she would have to come and get me if that was going to happen.when she realized i was serious she got an attitude and hung up on me but i called her yesterday morning and things seemed better i even thought she was seriously thinking about coming to get me and so did my mom but leave it to my lil sister to be right i even was willing to bet my butt hole on the fact that she was coming I'm glad no one took that bet, cause i was dead wrong when i got back to my sisters Amanda was on line and never tried to call when i got on line she told me tha we needed to talk she said that she started and that we should go our separate ways. i think i may have been in shock i really could not believe it, I'm not even sure if believe it now i wrote her some really awful things that i really don't mean but none of that even matters now, so to amanda goodbye and thank you for the memories that i will do my best to forget and i hope you do find the guy that is right for you if not for any other reason but for the boys sake

what is worse i had a woman that really loved me once and she still does she will never get over me and she has still not been with any one else and we have been separated for a year and a half, and the truth is i was not half of the man for her as i was for Amanda or Michelle. i was young and stupid i beat her, i cheated on her i called her horrible names and i stayed strung out on dope and through it all she loved me with everything she had and still does i can never be in love with her again i tried when Michelle left, but i would literally kill to meet a girl around my age who could have my kids and who could love me the way that she did and still does but honestly i have all but given up on that